Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Penny the Psycho Cat

This is Penny about to claw your face off.
Isn't she cute? :D
After a few years of having two cats, the family decided that getting a kitten would be fun. Kittens are cute, cuddly, an fun to play with, yes?
Well, not always.

A farm cat belonging to some church friends had just had a litter of five kittens, three male, two female. We decided on the female who had been temporarily named Runt. Yes, we picked another runt, like Thomas. But this time, we at least knew the mother of the kitten, and the mother was sweet as could be.

 As soon as the kittens were eating kitten food, we took little Runt home, and named her Penny (Because who the hell wants to love with a name like "Runt"?). She soon received the nickname "Mouse" due to her squeaky little voice, gray fur, and  because she runs around like crazy vermin.
 Penny Mouse made it very clear that even though she was tiny, she would not be intimidated by the other cats. She liked to poof out her kitten fluff and run at the other cats sideways, and trying to hiss.
She was soooooo tinyyy and cuuute. :D She'd sometimes get lost in the house, and we'd have to send out a search party. We'd all call for her, until someone would finally hear her teeny leetle squeaks coming from a little basket, or a dark corner.
 Penny liked to play with other cats. Well...perhaps "play" is not the right word. More like "torment". She loved chasing Mandy around.  We decided to get another kitten to get Penny away from Mandy. The cat needed a cat.

And thus, for my 12th birthday, I got Socks. Penny decided Socks was her best friend, and terrorized him to her heart's content. She would chase after him joyously/ruthlessly. Until he grew bigger than her. Then he chased her joyously/ruthlessly. Ehehehehehehe. Karma.

Penny developed a fascination for dark, cave-like places, and feet. She'd sit in the dark hall bathroom, and watch people's feet as they walked by.

 She likes to pretend to be all lovey and snuggly, and then turn on you, and scratch your face.
If you catch her doing something naughty, and lightly swat her, she will run to the darkness of the bathroom, and plot her revenge. She will sit in the darkness, looking sinister until you walk by. She will wait forever if she has to. When you finally come innocently walking by, completely forgetting that there's a possibility that you may be the next victim of the Biting Clawing Foot Attack.
 Penny senses your approach. Her ear twitches in anticipation. Slowly, a foot....OHHH THE FOOT...comes into view. She prepares to strike, waiting for just the right moment. She dashes out, biting and clawing up the foot. She delights in the screams of her victim. And then, as quickly as she appeared, she vanishes back into the darkness, savoring the sweet taste of revenge.

Penny Mouse also has a strange obsession with licking material. It doesn't really matter what it is. It could be curtains, someone's shirt, a sheet, a purse...anything. She extends her paw, and sticks a single claw through the desired material. She draws it to her face, and......*lick....lick....lick*
It's kinda REALLY gross and creepy.
Sometimes she just sticks her claw into things for the fun of it. She'll poke it through a window screen, and just hang there. She'll stick one claw into my fiance's leg, and enjoy his pain (Poor guy. My parents want us to take Penny with us when we get married. They wanna get rid of her, surprise, surprise).

Penny, of course, has to like SOMEONE. That someone is me. She never sticks a claw in me, or suddenly turns on me. I can get my face all up in her grill, and she doesn't really mind (If anyone else tries this, they will likely lose an eye) and she likes to sit on me every morning and power-purr.
She also really likes my sister, Jenni, despite having been tormented by her for years. Jenni likes to mess with Penny, and make her all growly (This is not hard. You hardly have to do anything.) and pet her, and make her all happy. This results in Penny growling and purring at the same time. Penny actually likes it though. She will sit in Jenni's lap, growling and purring. It's weird. O.o

Creepy Mouse stares into your soul.
But you can't stare back into hers.

She's sitting in my lap right now, watching what I type about her. I think she's going to sit here until I wrote something nice about her. She will wait forever if she has to. All right Penny, I'll do it, if it gets you off of me.

 Despite sticking claws into people and eating their feet, Penny actually does care about the welfare of the humans in her life. If she hears someone screaming (Because they saw a bug, are laughing really hard, or are being chased around the house by mom, who is singing) she will come running, and love all over them and try to make them feel better. We tested this out by going into different rooms and screaming. Penny almost always came.
 If Jenni or I get sick, Penny stays in bed with the sicko, and snuggles them, and sleeps on them. (Cute if it's a cold or something. Bad if it's the stomach flu. Penny likes to sit on stomachs.)

 Awww, she's purring on me. And grabbing my arm. Clearly the kind words have appeased the Vermin. Now get off me, you pushy broad. It's hot enough without a fat Mouse sitting on my stomach. I got her off, and she walked across my keyboard, refreshing the page. Fortunately, Blogger auto-saves drafts.

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